TimeSick News

Craigslist post leads man to write “Take my wife please” with no luck

admin — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 02:44:37 +0000

Marietta GA (TSn) Local resident and recent internet subscriber Ron Timber has had a fun time surfing the intenet. “Just recently I came across Craigslist. I figured I’d get someone to come and get my ol’ lady, you know - like how you give away an old mower that ain’t workin’ anymore.”

Ron soon found out that it may not be that easy. “Man, I shouldn’t of posted her picture, or maybe I should of done the ‘bait and switch’ or the old ‘pig in a poke,’ or what ever the hell they call it.

Ron’s wife did not care to comment.

Hipster attempts gruelling ‘Triple Irony’ on Anti-anti-Obama flier

admin — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 02:31:11 +0000

Richmond VA (TSn) Hipster Marc Allen of Carytown is believed to have pulled off the flier design of a life time. His “triple ironic” Obama flier, posted on a local pay phone appears to be pro-Obama on first appearance.

“When I first saw it, I though ‘oh, what a nice Obama picture,’ then I realized it refers to him as the anti-Christ.” said passerby Cory Tarbash of Mechanicsville. “Upon further inspection I realized I had been had, see there’s the Shepard Fairey ‘OBEY’ guy in the corner.”

Marc Allen discussed his devious design at the McDonald’s next to the phone both, where his Puch moped was chained. “When I started [copying] the image at Kinko’s I realized had to give this design that little edge, hopefully Shepard Fairey wont mind me jacking his imagery.” Shepard Fairey was unavailable for comment.

Parents didn’t “Pray Right,” caused death of diabetic daughter

admin — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 23:27:19 +0000

WAUSAU, Wis. (TSn) Christians across America are outraged at the latest botched prayer attempt that ended in disaster with the death of an 11 year old girl. “Why didn’t someone just kidnap her and take her to some real Christians that could do some real praying for?” said local shop owner Joseph King. “I mean come on, their neighbors had to know that these people weren’t real Christians like the rest of us, I heard they didn’t even go to church on Sunday - how can they call themselves Christians?”

Maple Creek Baptist Church parishioner Latricia Baldwin added “I believe that this would have never happened to anyone in our congregation. We just know how to pray…simple as that.”